Monday Aphorism: Nerve


Right now I feel that my feet are like the Rock of Gibraltar, solid grounded. At the same time, in the same moment, I am loose and flaky as if the rock were thinly-layered shales, moving in any and all directions with the ease of a soft summer evening.

This condition acts itself out in my world, both doing and watching. I have more nerve than before: nerve to try new things, to take new risks, the nerve to be willing…

It is partly that I want to learn, to study what is happening in these times of the revival of religion – especially in the rising concepts of death over life.

It is as if the thinking and fears and hopes of the aged and infirm have gained ownership over life, as it has increasingly, in their own lives. It is as if women – who are the future – have lost the vitality to inspire the future.

I want to know, to understand the ideas of forever, and what then happens to each day. Where and when are the future, when impending death looms so large? Why do the ideas, prophets, and texts of the past overtake the present? Is it a search for certitude, protection from fears, a dispute over reality?

This takes my being in new places, pushing upon the powers that appear to be, to see where they yield, when they are soft or very hard, how they exist and oppose, and against what forces – perceived and real.

I want to help to recreate the idea of meaning, and of life: of living a meaningful life. Right now the urges and surges of nerve want to take on these explorations. Will I, how…can I explore such grand images?


  • mike stucker

    At least North Korea has quited down for the moment. It seems like a strangely quiet time in the world though. Aside from all of the celebrity deaths lately the world seems like a strangely numb place. This computer age has changed the world; slowed direct communication while opening up communication that would otherwise be impossible. I just read your passage in ‘Next Places’ on alcoholism. E-mail me if you get a chance I would like to discuss this privately. Otherwise, keep up the great work!!!
    I think we all would like to lead a meaningful life and through your words you are accomplishing just that. I believe that writer’s never realize the impact that they may have on others lives. I am about to be finished with my college undergraduate degrees and although I have the brains for graduate school I don’t know yet what I want to be when I grow up nor do I feel that I am emotionally ready for that step. I am ready for AFRICA in the next year though. The dark continent is a fitting place for a dark soul. ;)