Monday Aphorism: Robbers of Energy

Solid, stolid they appear. A certain kind of self-assuredness. They seem to be persons who know, promoters of things that are good; well-meaning, liberal.

But, with them, I seem to lose energy. Self-doubts enter in, as I find my self doing a self-telling that these particular persons seem not all that bright. But here I am, heavily into self-doubt, finding myself accusing them of what I am experiencing. What is going on? Within this melange of self-doubt, the accusations directed as well toward the others, I become captive to a concentration of ideas and thoughts which aren’t even very interesting.

My own life, full of doubts, full of overcoming, I seek well-motivated criticism. But, here amongst these energy sappers, I have fallen into some trap of banal self-justification; the kind in which I find myself defending the worst in my self by seeking the worst in them. Exhausted, ashamed to rediscover a me I had thought was behind, overcome. Perplexed.

Then, last week, a gathering of the perplexed: in which we discovered that another was dealing with these self-same energy thieves, and reported…exhausted, ashamed…the same internal experiences. And ruling-out coincidence, we decided to justify self and to externalize blame against these masters of the art of self-doubt. The problem is revealed and remains, that we are susceptible to others’ depiction of our selves, in some ways that seem self-destructive.

  • Mike Stucker

    Here’s a short and sweet response. I hate the doubters, the people that put me down, but quite honestly they are my biggest motivators. They inspire me to greatness. So thank you to everyone that has put me down and told me that I couldn’t do certain things. You’ve inspired me to reach my utmost potential. Equally important though are all of the people in my life that have supported me and never allowed me to quit when I got too down on myself.

  • Mike,

    I think I wrote this piece while I was trying to “get past” the sorts of energy robbers which seemed to affect my work and creep into my thoughts too often. Worse, I realized I had some tendencies to become just like them, as I was pulled-in to fighting them. How to become and remain oneself, more than the self which is defined by others? – perhaps especially by those to whom we seem susceptible?