Carlos Castaneda said – somewhere – that the most difficult thing in life is in believing what is happening in the moment; in this moment.
Both as participants in our lives and observers of it, we all live in two modes, each with its own sense of being and of time.
Unless we sense the context, know the script of what is going on, then we stand aside, watching. Like the watchful m/other when her infant is asleep, our observing self is content beyond the time of doing.
This is usually useful, because the world of happenings and doings and occurrences is mundane; almost a sleepwalking, once we know who we are and where we have been.
Occasionally, however, something happens at a distance, or in the background, and we fail to report it to ourselves because we donâ€™t believe it; because we are not in its time, in our own time of each momentâ€™s doing.
We live entranced, captivated by our selvesâ€™ observers, playing out its particular surety, not noticing and…Not believing what it does not see exactly. Not seeing because one selfâ€™s observer is already committed to oneâ€™s own belief.
Life is like a course of lectures, the observer seeking the content of each lecture; no longer noting what is a lecture, nor yielding life to any thought behind the lecturerâ€™s presentation.
These happenings which we do not note, what happens to them? Do they bump our observersâ€™ eye, push however gently at our lifeâ€™s constellations?
Do we wake up some day to find our selves outside ofâ€¦ourself?
Should we struggle to see and to believe what it is we see, in each momentâ€¦and if we do…?